SUN GARDENING OFFERS

Posted on Tuesday, January 27th, 2009 at 12:50 pm

SUN GARDENING OFFERS
I’m writing a poem, can you please rate it and tell me what needs fixing?

Please rate it on a scale from 1-10 and tell me what needs fixing.

A vinyard erupts from the sand,
It’s skeletal,
A tangerine tree begs the sun,
The heat chaps it’s bark,
The sand collapses,
What was a dune is not,
But a dying clump of shriveled tree’s,
Offering up their fruit,
Begging for a clemency,

What was this long lost flora?
Alive ‘neath the sand,
That struggles to survive the heat,
And cries for Gods own hand,
She sits on the roots,
Of her phantasy,
This is the garden she came from,
Begging for a sip,
As the brown river stumbles by,
The golden dunes crash,
Onto the wonderful garden of Eden.

i think it needs a tittle lol its pretty i love it

Kitchen in the Sun, Greek Food

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